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Connection
It is old (yet, still relevant) news that relationships are foundational pieces in education. Research has proven time and time again that all students, regardless of demographics or background, benefit from having a positive relationship with a trusted adult (Ed Trust). Students with strong connections with their teachers work harder, learn more, and have less behavior issues. Because connection is beneficial for all and critical for some, I consider this a top intention. HighMark has the advantage of being a small school with an abundance of caring, dedicated professionals, so connecting with students is truly our strength. However, even when something comes naturally, it's still good practice to stop and reflect because "we do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience" -John Dewey.
Reflect & Check your connection...
Do you have a certain "type" of kid (or maybe multiple types) that connection comes easy to? I'd be surprised if you don't, so be honest with this. Think about who those kids are for you and how your interactions on a daily basis differ with them vs those you don't connect with as easily or maybe even not at all. Then, I want you to consider how your day would be different if you had similar or even part of that connection with all of your other students, especially your most difficult ones. At this moment, I'm sure you have a student or 2 (or more) in your head that you can identify as a struggle, so what have you done so far to try to connect with that student(s)? If you've made effort, what was the road block? What didn't work? Is there anything that helped you make progress?
Set your Intention:
The goal in making a meaningful connection is to know a student on a deeper level than school work. This allows you to have an understanding of best ways to help and reach this student in your classroom because you are able to meet a student where they are. Knowing individual likes/dislikes, background information, etc is key in finding motivators and having a more well rounded understanding of each student. This allows you to gauge when to push and when to back off or when it's a "can't" vs "won't". A connection allows you to teach the whole child because you know what s/he needs. It takes time, patience, and consistency to build trust and the reality is that certain students simply won't engage without a certain level of respect and understanding. Sometimes most challenging students are often the ones who need connection the most, so if your intention is to build a connection, consider the benefits of staying the course and expect that finding a way will take work but it will likely be worth it.
NOTE: I'd like to clarify here that connecting with students has nothing to do with "being the fun/favorite teacher" - being liked is different than being respected and it's certainly different than finding connection with each student. While there's something to be said about students "liking" you, there is a clear difference between showing up to your class to hang out or showing up motivated to learn/work. Of course these two things are not mutually exclusive (you can be liked and earn respect based on connection) but the most effective teachers strive for the latter and understand the inherent difference between the two things.
Make a Plan:
There are many ways to connect with students and I know you have lots in your toolbox, but in case you need a starting point, you'll find some starting points below:
Connection Strategy: 2 x 10
Here are some other great ways to connect with your students in and out of the classroom, as shared by Richard Milner in an issue of the Harvard Education Letter:
Source: https://www.hepg.org/hel-home/issues/27_1/helarticle/five-easy-ways-to-connect-with-students_492
Bonus: For students who are less verbal or if you feel short on time, try journal sharing.
https://stanfield.com/establish-connections-with-students/
Take Action:
Are you ready? I challenge you to work on building a meaningful connection with at least 1 unexpected student by the end of the month. Really focus on conversation rather than just joking around or single passing comments (fair warning: if you're doing 2x10, 2 minutes can feel like like a long time but hang in there!).
***Be very mindful of sarcasm until you really know the student, especially in Jr High. It may seem like their love language but underneath most of those hard candy shells are sensitive kids looking for someone to trust. The wrong sarcastic comment in the wrong context at the wrong time can tank any progress you are making with a student.
***When building relationships with any student, boundaries are not optional. Set and stick to clear ones!
If you are up for this, I would love to hear what you're doing, what you're trying, and how it's going.
Regroup & Restore:
If ever you hit a road block with a student or you have a less than positive interaction and feel like you've undone progress, it's ok. Reflect on whatever went down and then have a restorative interaction with the student. Restorative action is imperative- all this means is that you circle back and talk about what happened. Whether it's you had to send the student to the hall or maybe you weren't confident about how you handled something, address it with the student in an age appropriate way. In my experience, showing that you are human and taking ownership goes a long way.